Today is the official due date

ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND nothing... hopefully a miracle will happen and as soon as I am done writing this I will go into labor. Brett will have to come home from work and off to deliver the goods. Weird I thought for sure we would at least be in the hospital right now snuggling our baby by now. It truly feels like its never going to happen. After false labor for 2 days. Today zilch. I even did the castor oil.. I wasnt afraid.. And you know what it really wasnt that bad.. All the comments I read online I thought for sure I was doomed. But seriously they have a brand at walmart that is odorless and tasteless. If was like drinking a 1/4 cup of oil mixed with coke that wouldn't mix together.. I thought for sure it was going to be the key to my labor really starting. Nope. But hey I am cleaned out. So that is a positive right.. Since Im not miserable at the end of my pregnancy as in body terms. (I could've done without the stretch marks I was blessed with a couple weeks ago.) Does that mean I have to wait til Im miserable for this little guy to come. I mean I laughed at my cankles. I don't have them this week since I haven't been working. But really I dont have anything to complain about.. All the yuckiness back from the begining of the pregnancy I've almost forgotten about.... The sweat dripping down my face from blow drying hair is long gone. So why am I anxious to get this baby out.. Because I am selfish. I want to see him. See what he looks like. Will he have hair or no hair. If he has hair what color will it be. Will he have round cheeks or narrow cheeks. I want to kiss him and smell him. Because lets be honest what smells better then baby smell. I want to snuggle him. Comfort his cries. Feed him. Stare in amazement at him. I just want him.. It doesn't help that Brett is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited for all this too. I know I know he'll come when he's ready.. But can't he be ready now???????????
I'm writting this only for myself.. To remember mostly the anticipation of how I much I want this little one...